Love your dedication: “For my parents, who caused none of my problems.”
My father always had time for me. I was never molested by the babysitter. I am, by definition, not interesting because I have no advertisable dysfunction. That was the origin of the book. I was sick of whiny memoirs where people blame everyone but themselves. I originally thought of this as an anti-memoir about a normal guy in a crazy world. Then I realized it’s really boring to write about a normal guy. I had to zest it up.
Yeah, combined, my friends and I haven’t had that many dates. And we’re pretty toxic.
I changed names and details. But they’re all based on real experiences I had. If anything, I hold myself up as a typical guy. Believe me, it’s much easier to get girls with each passing year.
Good.
You’re employed and you’re heterosexual. That alone puts you in the 99th percentile in New York.
Why do women want cads?
Cads are more fun than the knapsack-carrying guy who spends five hours talking about his breakthrough in therapy. The cad is focused entirely on you, not himself.
Being Canadian help?
It makes you seem marginally intriguing. Women will say things to you like, “Oh, I love Toronto! It’s so clean!”
Do women underestimate how important a guy’s male friends are to him?
They think we’re talking about beer and strippers. And sometimes that is what we’re talking about. But when I needed them, my guy friends rallied.
Ilene, your fiancee, read this?
I had this bulletin board and these index cards with the different chapters and she’d look up and see something like: “Night of Five Stewardesses,” “Blanche.” She’d say, “I didn’t know about that!” Not that there ever was a Night of Five Stewardesses. If only. Without her, I wouldn’t have been able to write this. I wanted to show a guy who goes from nowhere to having good things happen. I just wanted to make it seem like, as much as I complain about bachelor hell, there is a lot of fun to be had in one’s single life. Enjoy it. Don’t just lament it all the time.
