The 26-year-old man, who goes by the name u/OddLocksmith9500, shared a post on Reddit, writing that he has been with his girlfriend, who is the same age, for five years, but they’ve known each other since they were 15.
The post has received more than 6,500 upvotes, and the top comment alone has 7,400 upvotes. The original poster (OP) wrote that he is taking his relationship to the next level, and his partner is going to move into his place.
In 2019, Pew Research Centre surveyed 9,834 U.S adults, and the results found that young adults are particularly accepting of cohabitation – 78% of those aged 18 to 29 said it’s acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together, even if they don’t plan to marry.
The survey also revealed that 58 percent of adults living together said they are satisfied with how their partner acts in their best interests.
The Redditor said of cohabitation: “This wasn’t a problem until she was about to move in. I have a few photos in the house of me with members of my family, the problem is with a specific photo of me with my brother and father.
“She told me to remove the photo before she moved in to accommodate her, I asked her why, and she answered that it was ‘weird,’ but to me, there’s nothing weird about the photo, she’s the one making it weird.
“Maybe the only thing weird about the photos is that all of them are from when I was a child but none of them are inappropriate or have something you can take the wrong way.”
The Redditor wrote: “She had no other argument and, in the end, I refused she said she wouldn’t move in and I was ok with that.”
The OP explained that his friends and father have suggested he removes the photo to make her feel more “welcome” but he finds it “ridiculous.”
He described the image that was taken two decades ago, including his dad and brother, then 17.
The OP wrote: “In the middle is my father with a grin from ear to ear, his eyes closed and his arms extended to the sides; to his left is my brother: buzz cut, standing straight with his arms at the side like a soldier and a serious face; to my father’s right is me: long hair, standing like a boxer from 1910 with my chin up and a mean mug; all wearing a suit because it was taken at my uncle’s wedding.”
The Redditor wrote that his girlfriend has met his family and has “always been respectful.” He added that there have never been any “incidents or problems.”
The OP wrote that he has longer hair than before, and the photos are on a small part of the wall.
“She had issues with her family but they solved it. But I don’t rule out that something happened that she hasn’t told me,” he added.
The post was shared on Wednesday. It has since been edited, with the OP writing: “We have talked this morning and this has nothing to do with me or my family but hers. The photos brought some feelings and she was feeling bad for someone else and not for herself.
“It has to do with one of her nephews; he is going through the same situation as her when she was 15 (no sexual abuse, for those concerned) and she has been blocked about what to do.”
‘Drama Queen Behavior’
Newsweek spoke to Amber Marine, who is a love and relationship coach based in the U.K.
Marine told Newsweek: “It is very difficult to jump to conclusions without your girlfriend being completely open about her feelings, but until she has been, I would not suggest your girlfriend moves in.
“You are being kind and generous to let her live with you, and she was happy to stay previously,” said Marine.
“What you don’t want is drama-queen behavior or the start of controlling behavior in your relationship or residence. You give in once, what could be next? That’s not to say certain things can’t be compromised, but there doesn’t appear a fair and honest justification.”
Marine said: “On another note, if this photo genuinely triggers her either for something that has happened with one of your family (that she is silencing) or has triggered her with hers — the fact remains, either way, until she says why, it would be unfair for you to be controlled about what photos you have representing your family.
“Withholding the truth in some ways is the equivalent of being lied to. For a relationship to survive, it needs honesty. Without this, you can’t move forward properly.”
What Did Redditors Say?
Almost 2,000 people have commented on the post to offer advice.
One Redditor wrote: “There is absolutely something weird here,” while another commented, “If she can’t/ won’t give you a proper reason to remove childhood photos of you and your family, it’s a little concerning.”
A third Redditor posted: “I fully expected it to be a photo of you with an ex or something, but it’s just you with your family? Doing normal stuff? And she can’t even explain to you why it’s “weird”? Something fishy is going on here.”
